How to: rebound from setbacks

As much as I would like to talk about the basketball kind of rebound, I will not be doing that this time. Instead, I want to share a few tips on how to rebound from setbacks. 

Life isn’t always a bed of roses. Sometimes things happen that we didn’t see coming and couldn’t have prevented. Maybe it’s the loss of a job, the end of a relationship or being rejected by your dream school. Whatever the situation is, it can really do significant damage to your confidence and self-esteem. We all have been there, and personally, I felt like the world was crumpling on top of my head when I struggled during my foundation year. It was that bad, as I literally have no one to trust & to depend on. If someone offers me thousands of dollars to go back to that phase and run it back again, I'll gladly reject that offer without any doubt. 

A major life setback, however, does not have to be the end of the story. It does not have to define who you are going forward or be a millstone around your neck that continues to weigh you down. Besides, it certainly does not have to keep you from realizing your dreams. Recovering from a major life setback is definitely possible, but it takes the right mindset to make it happen. Not only can you recover from a bad situation, but if you take the right steps when life throws you a curve ball, it’s possible to bounce back stronger than ever. I am beyond grateful that I have fully bounced back from the greatest doom of my life, thanks to the optimistic side of me that motivates me to keep holding on until this present day. I would like to share my personal opinion on how one could rebound from setbacks. 

Firstly, you need to accept what you can't change. As much as how lame the phrase "it is what it is" sounds like, sometimes, you need to get the taste of reality chunks that we couldn't control. If it really, truly is something that you are powerless to change, then it is important to recognize the reality of the situation so you don’t waste valuable time and effort trying to turn things around. This can quickly deplete your energy, which leads to a host of negative emotions. At this point of life, you need to live your life smartly, without investing your time and energy on something unworthy. In any situation, there comes a point when it’s time to accept it and move on. It’s important not to think of this as an admission of failure. Rather, taking a step back from the situation gives you a different perspective. It allows you to see things differently. Instead of viewing things from the perspective of someone in a storm, you get to consider the situation as something in your recent past.

You should also try to forgive. There is occasionally some confusion over what it means to forgive. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you ever forget about what happened. It also doesn’t mean you have to let someone back into your life who caused you harm. Forgiveness is a choice. It means no longer holding a grudge or having hard feelings. Ultimately, forgiveness is something you do for yourself and not for the other person. It allows you to free your mind from negative thoughts and emotions about the situation. It might take some time and space for you to execute it, but trust me, it'll be worth it. Granting forgiveness for other people does not resembles you as a weak person. Revenge might sounds cool and all, but it can only provides you with temporary satisfaction. Forgiveness, however, would grant a long-lasting satisfaction for your own self. 

Next, you should give yourself time to grieve. Grieving for any kind of loss in life is not a bad thing. In fact, it can actually be very therapeutic. Grief is a natural process that allows you to emotionally recover from an unexpected negative event. It allows you to go from the initial shock you felt when you first received the bad news to acceptance. It takes time to grieve properly, and you should allow yourself all the time you need to go through the process. The end result is acceptance. This gives you the ability to move on with your life. It's okay if you feel like crying for months, or putting yourself on hiatus from falling in love again, as long as you promised yourself that you will try again, take all the time and space that you need. Don't rush the process. Baby steps are still progress. 

Don’t let self doubt control you. Self-doubt involves lingering thoughts about a situation that serves no purpose other than to torment you. They usually involve thoughts about what you might have done or said differently. The only problem is that it’s entirely too late to act on those thoughts. Second-guessing yourself after the fact does nothing to change the situation. What’s done is done. It’s now in the past. Whenever you find yourself thinking about things you should have or could have done, it’s best to hit the mental delete button and move on. Focus on what you can control. All those should've and could've statements that linger in your mind won't make the current situation any better. Who knows, maybe it is for the greater good? Have faith and believe in yourself. 

The last one you could try is to try to learn from experiences. Can any good ever come from a major life setback? It can if you try to learn something from the experience and then apply your new knowledge to future situations. It’s important to realize that analyzing what went wrong in a situation is not the same as second-guessing yourself. Self-doubt involves getting caught up in the past. Learning from an experience is about the future. Being able to learn from a situation gives you the ability to have better outcomes going forward. Remember, faulty blueprint won't produce the best product at the end of the day. 

To wrap this one up, If you're currently facing a major setback, I hope you will find your way through. This though phase of life will not last forever. Great things are waiting for you. Be patient and trust the process. You can make it through. I believe in you. Take care, and stay you :)